Born 1967 in Germany. Lives and works as an artist (www.ankeblaue.com) facilitator of The Work in Holt, Germany
I have always been interested in spirituality. Zen Meditation, the christian Mystics, Advaita Vedanta, the New Spirituality of Neale Donald Walsch or Eckhart Tolle. I loved what they all had to say, and at the same time I was looking for a way how to get that freedom, which they all talked about. The Work showed me the way. It showed me that freedom is not something to be found in isolation, but in the midst of life. I discovered, that the freedom I was looking for is inside of me, and that this freedom is in all of us.
I now see each stressful thought as a door to peace. I am not trying to fight my confused mind anymore. Actually the opposite is the case. My unpeaceful thoughts are the material for my freedom. In Buddhism they say the lotus flower grows in dirt. The dirt (my stressful thoughts), are the fertilizer for my most profound self-realisations. Without stressful thoughts the lotus flower can’t grow, freedom can’t be experienced. I can see now that freedom doesn’t mean not having stressful thoughts, but knowing how to use them as a path to freedom.
My main topics I did The Work on have been my children, my husband, my paintings, death and loss.
My husband and children are my precious teachers. They show me daily where I’m not free. Through The Work I am discovering a new husband, who shows me his love in a completely different way than I could ever have imagined. And I realize how I treat my children when I worry about them and am in their bussiness, through The Work I see, it is not in my controle what happens with their lifes, they are walking their path and it is always the “right” one. I am experiencing something similar with my paintings, they also are happening on their own, without me doing anything. To see that feels very freeing.
Another issue I have worked with a lot is death, dying, illness and loss. When I was 28 years old, my first husband died at the age of 36 after a long-term illness. For many years it was unbearable for me to think of him or to look at pictures of him, especially the ones where he was very ill. I couldn’t stand the idea of him suffering. Through The Work I was able to find peace. I see the same pictures now and I see a different expression. I see peace, where before I saw suffering. Instead of feeling sad I am greateful that he was and is in my life. In my heart and mind he is always with me and can not die anymore.
When I question my thoughts, I’m left with the natural inclination to serve and to share—to serve my children, to serve my husband, to serve my paintings, to serve the world, to serve you; to serve so it can happen, whatever it is that wants to happen through the apparent me. If I can serve you with The Work in any way, I would be happy to do so. I have done The Work on children, being a mother, relationship, creativity/painting, spirituality, death and loss, competition, and many more issues. And of course it is possible to do The Work on all thoughts and I invite you to bring yours.